Let the Storm Rage On

The cold never bothered me anyway.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

In fact, life has made me quite cold. Turned off to a lot of things and people actually (and apparently my own circulation, but that’s another story). Well, to be perfectly honest, since we are the ones who perpetuate our own reality, I’m technically choosing this. It’s easier to be cold than warm and loving. Especially to myself. Trauma response, I’m sure. Stay in the comfort of the cold.

I’ve found that no matter what I do, some people don’t like me. Family members included. And yes, I know that not everyone is not going to be Team Katie, and that’s perfectly ok. There’s no judgment on my part.

I’ve been the butt of many judgments throughout my whole life, and people have quite literally hated me simply because I’m me. I dress loud. My hair is loud. Sometimes I’m fucking loud. I shine, and apparently that’s “too much” for some people to handle. Now I understand that I don’t need to take it personally — that people were projecting their own unhappiness with themselves on to me. And I really wish I knew this when I was younger. It would have saved me from many addictions and suicidal depression.

But I’m strong. I can take it. (Another noted trauma response).

I’ve had to dim my light for so many people in my life that I’m surprised there’s still…